What if you could talk to yourself at twenty-one?

At the time of publication, there were 248 responses to our survey (see Table 1 for demographic data).

This moderate alternative between the completely rational approach of just-sitting-on-the-damn-seat and the extreme wastefulness of using paper seat covers requires restroom goers to perform and hold a semi-squat so that they are positioned just above the toilet bowl without actually contacting any inch of porcelain. Admittedly, prior to this study, I had limited knowledge of this neo-modernist approach that seems to require an inordinate amount of quad strength.

If we are to glean anything meaningful from a groundbreaking investigation into the toileting habits of highly-educated millennials—and that is quite a lot to ask—it likely has nothing to do with toilets or tissues.

Examining what’s beneath the surface

The first time I had General Tso’s Chicken was in college. Before that, I hadn’t ever heard of it. It was served at Grace’s Café, a mom and pop Chinese restaurant located on Duke University’s central campus that has since closed shop. It was battered, fried, and glazed—in other words, it was something my mom…