Even while writing this, I realize there’s nothing that can be said about the miserable existence of a monopolistic internet service provider that hasn’t already been said. But I’m doing this for posterity. If my daughters grow up with no internet, they will know why—I’ve fucking had it with Comcast XFinity. They are a bunch…

A Focus Group Discussion of Toilet Seat Covers and Their Utilization

With apologies to Dashboard Confessional, we scream at Sam’s infidelity to the 90’s.