Comcast Makes Me Want to Gouge My Eyes

Even while writing this, I realize there’s nothing that can be said about the miserable existence of a monopolistic internet service provider that hasn’t already been said. But I’m doing this for posterity. If my daughters grow up with no internet, they will know why—I’ve fucking had it with Comcast XFinity. They are a bunch…

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Discovering Pork Floss

The container of brown fuzz was shoved far under my dorm bed so no one would notice it. But apparently not far enough. “Why do you have a stash of pork floss?” my friend asked, nonchalantly pointing out the plastic tub with its red and white Chinese label. ““Pork floss”? I was so surprised I…

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